She does not: GET PMS
She becomes: HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL

She does not have: A KILLER BODY
She is: TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE

She is not: A BAD COOK
She is: MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE

She is not: A BAD DRIVER
She is: AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED

She is not a: PERFECT 10
She is: NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR

She is not: EASY
She is: HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE

She does not: HATE SPORTS ON TV
She is: ATHLETICALLY BIASED

She does not have: SEXY LIPS
She is: COLLAGEN DEPENDENT

She does not get: DRUNK
She is: ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED

You do not ask her: TO DANCE
You request a: PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE

She is not: A GOSSIP
She is a: VERBAL TERMINATOR

She does not: WORK OUT TOO MUCH
She is an: ABDOMINAL OVERACHIEVER

She does not have: A GREAT BUTT
She is: GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS

She is not: HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS
She is: MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED

She is not: COLD OR FRIGID
She is: THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE

She does not: WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP
She is: COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED

She does not have: GREAT CLEAVAGE (A GREAT RACK)
Her breasts are: CENTRALLY LOCATED

She will never: GAIN WEIGHT
She will become: A METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER

She is not: A SCREAMER OR MOANER
She is: VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE

She does not: SHAVE HER LEGS
She experiences: TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION

She does not have: A HARD BODY
She is: ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE

She does not: SUN BATHE
She experiences: SOLAR ENHANCEMENT

Her breast will never: SAG
They will: LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD

She does not: SHOP TOO MUCH
She is: OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS

She does not: CUT YOU OFF
She becomes: HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE

She does not have: BIG HAIR
She is: OVERLY AEROSOLED

She does not: SNORE
She is: NASALLY REPETITIVE

She does not: GET DRUNK
She becomes: VERBALLY DYSLEXIC

She does not have: BIG HOOTERS
Her: CUPS RUNNETH OVER

She is not: TOO SKINNY
She is: SKELETALLY PROMINENT